How Parts Work Can Help Heal Anxiety

At its core, anxiety is physiological - it comes from the body at the level of the nervous system. But it also manifests psychologically, as thoughts, beliefs and behaviours. While Polyvagal Theory helps us understand what is happening on a biological level when we’re anxious, Parts Work helps us to understand what is happening on a psychological level. In this blog post, we’ll explore what parts work is and how nurturing your anxious parts can foster healing and cultivate a newfound sense of wholeness.

What is Parts Work?

Have you ever gotten into an argument with yourself? Let’s say you’re considering looking for a new job. The following dialogue takes place inside your head:

“I really want to look for a new job. I’m not feeling satisfied or fulfilled in my current role.”

“But what if no one wants to hire me? What if they see I’m not good enough?”

“I’ve got to get over this anxiety. Why am I like this? I need to get it together.”

“But what if I can’t get it together? What if I try and I fail?”

If this resonates for you, you’re not alone. These types of inner conflicts are very common and are actually struggles between different ‘parts’ of our psyche. As in the example above, one part of you might be feeling anxious and insecure, while another part of you judges your anxiety and wants it to go away.

According to ‘Parts Work’ (also known as the Internal Family Systems [IFS] model), we each have many different ‘parts’ within us, all of which serve different functions and have their own perspectives, interests, memories, emotions, sensations and viewpoints. Within the IFS framework, we have three main types of parts:

1. Exiles (Inner Child[ren]): The wounded, hurting parts of us that hold painful childhood memories or emotions that we try to avoid. Exiles are characterized by feelings of shame, fear and “not good enough-ness”, and are rooted in trauma and attachment wounds. Managers and Firefighters constantly work to protect the exiled parts from reaching consciousness, to prevent uncomfortable emotions and pain from surfacing.

2. Managers (Protector): Managers try to protect us by controlling and ‘managing’ our behaviour. They work hard to manage and prevent painful or traumatic feelings and experiences from surfacing and flooding our awareness.

3. Firefighters (Protector): Firefighters also try to protect us, but they take on a more ‘reactive’ role. They respond to the distress of exiles that have surfaced. Firefighters try to numb the pain via behaviours like substance use, self-harm or distraction.

Traumatic events and relationships cause our system to develop both exiles and protective parts that step in and take over as needed. Over time, “parts” get layered and more complicated, especially if healthy coping skills have not been learned. When one protector after another is activated (and they start to conflict with each other), they take over the system causing dysregulation and/or dysfunctional behaviors. With that said, there’s a phrase in IFS that goes, “No bad parts”. All of our parts have positive intentions for us, even if their actions seem to be counterproductive or harmful. Understanding this is critical to the healing process.

Examples of Anxious Parts

For those of us struggling with anxiety, there are often multiple parts involved. Let’s use the example of someone struggling with a fear of failure, and take a look at how the different types of parts (exiles, managers & firefighters) can manifest.

1. Exile Example: There may be an exiled part of them that holds memories of past failures from their younger self in which they were criticized and shamed by a parent for not being good enough. This part gets triggered at work when they feel like their performance isn’t measuring up, leading them to feel highly anxious and ashamed.

2. Manager Example: This person also has a critical manager part inside of them that constantly tells them that they need to try harder and be better. This leads the person to become a perfectionist, as they strive for unrealistic goals of perfection. Although harsh, the criticism is meant to protect this person from the shame of failure. However, the criticism and unrealistic standards end up contributing to even greater feelings of anxiety, as the person works toward expectations that they can’t actually reach.

3. Firefighter Example: To help cope with the constant anxiety and stress, this person also has a firefighter part within that leads them to use alcohol to cope and get to sleep at night. And while the alcohol may provide temporary relief, it can also exacerbate anxiety over the long run, keeping this person stuck in a vicious cycle.

How Can Parts Work Help Heal Anxiety?

Parts work can be transformative for anxiety. As we identify the parts of ourselves that are contributing to our anxiety, we can learn how to work with these parts and help them heal. Typically, we fight with, coerce or try to eliminate our anxious parts - and at face value, this makes sense. We see these parts of us that are causing us pain and we want them to stop. But just like anxiety itself, the more we try and get rid of our parts, the louder and more pervasive they become.

Instead of trying to get rid of our parts, we want to do the complete opposite and get to know them. When we understand that there are no bad parts and that they’re all doing their best to protect us, we can approach them with compassion, curiosity and understanding. By providing the acceptance and care to our parts that may have been lacking in the past, we can work towards integrating and healing any conflicts or trauma that may be present within the system. When our parts feel seen, heard and safe, they are able to let go of their burdens and take on new, more adaptive roles within the system. This helps to create more harmony, balance and inner peace within our internal system, and helps to alleviate our experience of anxiety.

“Becoming Free From Anxiety” addresses the biological and psychological components of anxiety. With both somatic and cognitive approaches, Becoming Free From Anxiety provides a step-by-step guide on working with and healing your anxious parts.